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I’m not the one they think I am at home.

It’s 4:00 am, my phone alarm rings to the tune of  ‘The Greenback Boogie’ and reads, ‘Hustle Harder’, Harder because apparently hard isn’t hard enough. I put off the alarm, stepped out of my comfort zone and of course a ‘lack of sleep’ mode followed. Whilst half my brain is just trying to figure out what day of the week it is, and the other half pondering over the ‘to do’ list, I push off to make myself a cup of tea, which, by the way, is so consistent at tasting like shit.

I walked to my work desk and looked at the books that lay before me, ‘Strategic Financial Management’ & ‘Financial Reporting’ , something I didn’t understand a head nor tail of, something that didn’t interest me one bit. For a change, I pushed them aside, knowing I wouldn’t regret it at all. You know the sudden motivation that triggers into you when you take that first sip of tea, when you breathe that 4:00 am air, when the city is sleeping, when you look up at that sky full of stars? Well, for me, it was on a roll that day. I got a peaceful easy feeling and I knew that I wouldn’t let me down. Continue reading “I’m not the one they think I am at home.”

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Break Free.


Amidst all that chaos in your life, learn to find yourself.

Once in a while, go late to work, enjoy being stuck in traffic, smile at a stranger, do something not so routine, eat fatty foods, drink wine on a Wednesday night, gobble that dessert for dinner, snooze off your alarm, go on road trips, climb a god damn mountain, for fucks sake live.

I know you have files to finish, I know you have clients to please, I know you have calls to answer, I know you have money to make, yes we all do. But that’s not how you go about the business of living. You need to learn to live and not just exist.
It’s okay to screw up once in a while, 7 billion people do. Break Free honey. Watch the stars at night, I promise you, you’ll change your perception of life.

Amidst all that chaos in your life, learn to let go.

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Things I never got to tell you.

“Why haven’t I noticed you earlier? I hadn’t noticed that mole on your nose just below your eyebrow. I hadn’t gazed into those eyes like this ever before, they are sparkling darling. You should apply mascara may be. I love how your hair is so messy yet so fluffy and just fine. That curve on your lips is something I’ve never seen before. Was it always there? Those dark circles are telling me a lot. What’s your story? I can’t help but notice those jhumkas and that tiny bindi, it’s so Indian and so you. You’re beautiful. There are scars in your mind which aren’t very visible. There’s chaos in your universe.
I’m yet to understand you completely, I swear, I’m trying, but of what I know, I’m already in love with you.
I know I’ve made mistakes, terrible ones. I should have fallen for you and not believed those fairy tales, not believed that every story will have a happy ending. I am not quite sure what broke you, but I know for sure, that I will try to fix you. I will be the calm  to your chaos.
Oh and just, you look wonderful tonight.” She said.

“Took you long enough,” came a reply from the mirror.

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Perspective, cause each one has a different one.

Take ten seconds off all your other thoughts and think of the first three things that come to your head when you see yourself 5 years down the line. Done? Now that you have pictures of Bungalows, Designer clothes and the most expensive gadgets, I’ll shoot you a question. How many of you out there actually considered being happy as one of your top priorities?

Jim Carrey said, “I hope everybody could become rich and famous and get everything they ever wanted so they know, that’s not the answer.”
Well, happiness could mean anything, it could mean a new gadget, it could mean your blog post getting more hits than ever, it could be materialistic, and it could be immaterialistic for all I care. What matters at the end of the day is how happy you are. What matters is what makes you happy. What matters is your perception of happiness.

They say Life is what you make of it and that is nothing but the truth. If you make your life happening, it’ll be happy. If you don’t make it, it simply won’t.
I’m not here to give you gyaan on how to live your life nor am I enlightening you on how to be happy. I’m not even here expecting you’ll to remember what I said at the end of this article. I’m here doing my bit because I believe I can make a difference.

I am just going to share my perception of life, my perception of happiness.
1. Live in the moment: They say life goes by very fast, may be because more than often, we do not stop to live in the moment. Give that gift to yourself. Trust me, you deserve it.
2. Do what actually makes you happy:  Remember one thing; in life the person you will spend the most amount of time with is going to be nobody but you. Make sure you’re happy with that one yeah?
3.  Be grateful: This may not seem that important, but it definitely is. If a person out there is opening the door for you, thank them. If somebody out there drops you home safe, thank them. It may not make your day, but it might make theirs.
4. Also, when given choices, go with the one that makes you happier. Never forget one thing, in life you always have a choice, in every god damn situation of your life, you always fucking have a choice. Pick the ones that make you happier. Skip the ones that are easier. Get rid of the tradition paralysis.
5. Help others:  This one thing will make your day more than it made theirs.

Again, all of this was only my perspective.
If I start plucking the petals of a rose and littering it everywhere.
Somebody out there may say, I’m destroying it. Somebody out there may say I’m just passing time.
You out there might say I’m making a mess of the place, or you out there might say I’m making the place more beautiful than it already looks.
Each of you is right their own way.
and that my friends is exactly why I believe in Perspective, because each one, has a different one.

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2014 was good. Ups and downs. Highs and lows.  A lot is lost and a lot is gained. A few friends turned into acquaintances, a few acquaintances turned into friends. All a part of his plan. I love the feeling of starting fresh, even though I had done this over a 100 times now, every time I think of starting again, a positive energy rushes in, leaving all the bad vibes behind. Hope is just a 4 letter word but how much it can change a person’s perspective towards living.

It was 2 days to 2015. 2 days to 365 new days, 365 new chances and a package of memories. Pen down a few New Year resolutions, have a reason to live for, believe that something wonderful can happen. You never know what’s going to come your way next but you at least know which route to take.  Another year to screw things up, fix things up. Another year to fall in love, fall out of love.  Another year to march towards your dreams, be woken up by reality. Another  year to chalk out a few plans, dismiss a few.  Most importantly another year to learn, another year to fulfill your purpose of living.

Here’s to all those people who did matter, who won’t matter anymore.
One thing you ought not to forget if you want to survive in this cruel world which is getting crueler by the day- “Nobody cares. Get your shit together. Work harder.”

Farewell to you 2014.
2015, cannot wait to see what you’ve got!

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An Unposted Letter to Self

The one thing I’ve learned in the past 21 years, the one thing I began learning even before I knew what learning meant, is that ‘Life, goes on.’ You’ve got to be strong & experience will help you get there. You’ve got to let go what’s gone & time will lead you there. You’ve got to put yourself first & it’s not selfish at all, but being human.

So what if you fall down? You’ve got to pick yourself up. The next time you will be a little more careful. A mistake done twice is mere idiocy. I’m not saying don’t make mistakes. Make them, plenty of them okay? That’s how you’ve been learning. Mistakes have taught you the best. Just remember not to make the same mistake more than twice.
You’ve been working en route for achieving your goals. By now, you should have figured that it isn’t as easy as eating a cake but it’s as challenging as baking one. Of course the outcome of it is going to be very sweet, but if you chose to enjoy baking it then even the journey is kinda fun.

“At any given moment you have the power to say: This is not how the story is going to end.” – Christine Mason Miller.

Remember darling, things don’t go as planned; People do not do as they promised and fairy tales don’t always have a happy ending. Once you have registered this in that over thinking head of yours, you’re half way there, believe me, you are.  Happy ending, such a heavy phrase, such a rare one.

You have to remember that people are never against you, they are just for themselves.
Just make sure you have a back up plan always. Always keep in mind however good or bad a situation is, it will change.
Never forget, the best is yet to come.

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Sometimes you just have to do the Write thing.

Midnight conversations are the most meaningful and the most real conversations one can have, for it is then, that we pour our hearts out, let others view the pattern of our thoughts and also get a screenshot of the real us. She had found her escape and she liked it there. She didn’t know why. She didn’t even care. No judging. No fear. No hesitation. It was a fortunate accident.

       “Circumstances change us. Whether you like it or no, reality takes control of you, and you know what? That sucks. Change sucks.” She complained.
       “Change is not always bad. It broadens your mindset.” He consoled.

“But sometimes you make a choice in that moment
 and you know in your heart it is going to change everything.”
Scary. Scary how one choice you make is going to attack you like a snowball of consequences running down a slope. But we still have the chance of making that choice. Always. Every single time. Most of the times we humans are afraid to make and stick to our choices because the consequences are sure to follow and we lack the courage to face them. Not always the choice of a person turns out to be in their favor. There are 2 kinds of people in this world. One who will let go of anybody’s happiness for their own and the other who will let go of their own happiness for anybody else’s.

I believe destinies are handmade. If we want something, we will do anything to make it happen, on the other hand if we don’t want something; we will make sure it doesn’t happen. We will not try hard enough. It’s just a clearer picture of how badly someone wants something. It’s that simple. I’ve reached a point where questions are teaching me more than answers ever did. We humans are ready to do anything to fill that empty space, anything. Be it momentary, we will do anything to distract our hearts; we will run behind anything that gives us an escape, an escape from reality. We will also soon realize that escapism is only transitory and we will also get pissed off.

Who we are today is because of what happened to us yesterday.  People do change. Change is good, I guess. Or maybe we convince ourselves that it is good because we’ve come too far and there is no going back to who we once were. We humans enjoy pain. We cling on to it, the reason being that it has taken away a part of us that we are not completely ready to let go of.  We find that part of us, in pain and hence we enjoy pain. “We all know a lot of people who are happy only when they are unhappy.” – Paulo Coelho. This quote has never made more sense to me than now.

It’s so hard to be independent after being once dependent.” He said.
      “Who would know better? But I guess that’s how life is. Hard.” She replied.
      “If not for times like these we would never embrace the small things in life.” He commented.

If those small little things in life give you joy, be glad for there is still sanity left in you 🙂