Posted in Uncategorized

Emotions YES, Emotional Drama NO!


“But is it worth the heartache?” She probed me for the nth time because I went on and on about my same Dukhbhari Kahani for the nth time (patiently that she would listen). For once, not only did I listen to her, but also understood her question. Five years down the line you’ll probably joke about that same heartache, five years down the line none of that stupid shit will even matter. 

Emotions are good. Emotions are important. Drama is bad. Drama is uncalled-for. Never let attachments or emotions take control of you because usually it turns out to be a mess. A mess that’ll take long to get cleaned up and will also leave a lot of stains. Well, escaping it or ignoring it will do no good. Escapism is only transitory. Drama badi kutti cheez hai. Ek baar you get hooked to it, it becomes a part of you. Just like some people like pain, the rest like drama and then one fine day when you get absolutely sick of them both. Ta-daaa! It’s Nirvana!

When something that you’ve always wanted happens, you feel happy. When something that you didn’t want happens, you feel sad. When you’re ridiculed, you feel humiliated. When you do wrong, you feel guilty. When someone hurts you, you feel hurt. And that’s that. These are just conditioned responses. I’ve come to realise that emotional maturity is not about avoiding emotions, it’s just about avoiding all the emotional drama that follows.

I read this somewhere – ‘Every sorrow lasts for maximum 20-30 minutes, after that it’s just who you choose to be. Don’t react to any situation in life, instead choose your response.’ Remember that statement every time you fall into an emotional trap and believe me, a lot will change. When something that’s not bound to happen, happens, your reaction to the same is just justified. How long you want to hold on to it is your response.
They say it’s when you have that encounter with reality that’s when you learn, learn the best.
They said right. Disguised as experiences, come lessons.

 

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Posted in Life

End of an Era


The last day countdowns, the fear of doing everything for the last time, the last campus visits, the last group selfie, the whatsapp groups all active with I’m gonna miss you guys, I’m gonna miss college messages and to top it all off the fear of meeting people for the last time! It was very hard for me to accept the truth that it was the end of an era, a beautiful era and there’s nothing I could do about it but move on. Scary was the thought that all we’re going to be left with was memories. Apparently such is life. The feeling wasn’t sinking in yet.

From now on it isn’t going to be waking up every morning with a sigh, standing in front of the wardrobe for a while wondering what to wear, waiting for the five minute breaks in between sessions, waiting for birthday surprises, waiting for all the most awaited days in college, cribbing about the internals, cursing the management and all the typical college stuff we’d do. It was going to be waking up with a sigh, picking up the first thing that comes into our hand from the wardrobe, waiting for weekends to get a break from the daily 9 – 5 job routine, leaving a text on a friends phone wishing them for their birthdays, cursing the boss and the regular things a white collar person does. SIGH!

We had been trying to be adults since we were 15. We thought that it was all cool. Carrying a laptop bag was way cooler than carrying a bag with books. Carrying your tiffin box to school/ college was a pain when people at work would grab a sandwich from the cafeteria at the workplace and the latter looked more exciting! Uniform was a punishment and formals to office was in trend. Completing targets at work looked more worth it than finishing an assignment. Getting a pay cheque looked more of an achievement than daddy giving you pocket money for your daily treat.

Suddenly all this doesn’t look that exhilarating. I want to go back to being a child again! First day at school, the pride that you’re stepping into high school, the good feeling of entering college life, the excitement of getting done with graduation and then everything coming to an end. No. Not cool at all. This feeling sucks. Is there any option we have apart from moving on?

Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional. Well, growing up is a trap. I don’t know how it is going to be now on, how often I’ll meet many of you out there, how many times you’ll will cross my mind , but to those of you who were a part of this wonderful journey , Thank you 🙂
You’ll always be remembered and never forgotten.

Posted in Life as i see it

”Nobody said it was easy, Noone even said it would be this hard” – Courtesy Coldplay


A lot of thoughts do strike me when I read the above title but the current one occupying most of my ‘thinking time’ is what I want to pursue after my graduation. It’s that time of my life again! After 10th grade, there were three streams to pick from – Science, Commerce or Arts. After 12th grade, since I was a commerce student I had to pick one either B.Com or BBM. But now what after B.com seems like an impossible decision for me to decide.
Here is a just a glimpse of what I go through almost every single time or wait, at every family gathering because my friends seem to be sailing on the same boat as me.
Conversation with person ‘X’:
“Final year eh? Higher studies? Job?”
“If higher studies, what? Which college? Is it a reputed institution? How many competitive exams have you answered yet? What’s your ranking?”
“If job, which firm? Which city are you placed in? How much does it pay?”
When asked questions like these, I want to punch them in the face and reply saying, “Your business? No Right? Then do me a favor, kindly fuck off.” very politely I promise.
Conversation with person ‘Y’:
“Final year eh? What plans further?”
“What field does your interest lie in? What have you considered doing about it? Need any further guidance regarding the same, Ask for it!”
When asked questions like these, even if that person may not genuinely care, I know for sure that my choices or interests are respected.
Having these conversations with X & Y is still less exasperating than having them with oneself! Imagine you had these questions popping up your head in the middle of the night or while eating chocolate ice-cream or while watching your favorite series? I’m sure a lot of you have gone through this, are going through this or will go through this at some point of time.
Interest. Money. Satisfaction. Security. Happiness. Reputation. Competition. Luxurious life. Contended life. Needs. Responsibilities. Do what makes you happy now? Do what will keep you happy ten years down the line? Keep yourself happy. Keep your family happy. All this confusion simply leads to nothing but even more confusion.
Now: You won’t need that. You’ll need this.
Later: You won’t need this. You’ll need that.

Thiisssss!
Thiisssss!

There was no escape to this now. I had to make up my mind. You know those things you want to do and those things you have to do. Oh man, the dilemma. I’m afraid that if I take this a little more lightly & I’ll be left neither here nor there. Success in my words is pushing yourselves a little ahead of your comfort zones, achieving something you once dreamt off. An achievement is an achievement only when you’ve earned something you really wanted. There are no short cuts to success. It’s a very slow process and not an overnight. But is success all we want? Doesn’t self-satisfaction take a lead in the want list?
Break rules from the so called rule book! Never take decisions emotionally! Work hard, play hard! Want something? Earn it! Don’t want it? Scrap it! Sometimes less is more than enough! Have a logical mind and not an emotional mind! Follow your passion, live your dream and design your own future!

Have a good day! 

Posted in Uncategorized

A good thing or a bad thing?


The chills,they ran down my spine. Yes, you’re a wonderful soul. I try, try so hard to be you,to be ignorant,but failure knocks at my door even before success is half way through. I wonder how you’re able to pretend so well,the douche that you are I’m amazed by your excellence at being a pretentious bitch. But you know what? You’re the weak one out here. I’ve heard getting away is easier than dealing with it. I’ve always known you but never known you. 
I look at you, you look away. I talk to you, you ignore me anyway. I walk to you and you walk away. I think about you and in my head forever you stay. Just one glimpse of you, just those 30 seconds when our eyes meet and all the promises I made to myself, I break. Oh, the feeling then, is ridiculously marvelous. 
But I’ve reached the edge of my patience . I can’t take anymore of this drama. I cannot wake up every morning telling myself that, today these efforts won’t go in vain. I was confused if I was giving up or moving on? I realized it was neither of the two. I cannot define what I am going through. This time I am telling you, that it’s gonna take ages for the wound to heal and will always leave a scar behind to remind me of the traumas you put me through. But I fear, for I know that you couldn’t care less to fix this mess. I fear I’m gonna have to be with you forever. You’ve hurt me this time. Very bad. I’m glad in a way because you don’t matter to me anymore,or at least I will be good at pretending that you don’t. 
There comes a time when you’ve neither given up nor are you hoping for any better, you face the situation as it comes. A point where life tells you that it has taught you enough lessons for the time being and all those lessons learned have now,to be implemented. A good thing or a bad thing? .. 

Posted in Life as i see it

It’s all about perspective !!


”My definition of right changes from time to time.” I ponder over this statement a lot of times wanting to prove it wrong, only to realize that I can’t do so because it is absolutely true.  ”There is no wrong time to do a right thing.” How do you know if the right is actually right? 
” I shall tell you when the ‘right’ time comes.” “Give the time some time.Time shall heal it all.” 
“May be it’s just not the right time for you.” “It’s high time you think about it seriously.” 
TIME. RIGHT. WRONG. Society. Future. Friends. Family. What is going to happen? What will the other person think of me if I do this and don’t do that? Aren’t all these the first things that come across your mind when you are about to take a decision. Sure, these cannot be ignored, for every decision you take doesn’t ever involve you alone. But then wouldn’t it be better if YOU thought about YOURSELF first? No,this isn’t being selfish. It’s just being human. 
Life is a gift, Karma is a bitch, you are no less! 
How did you read the latter part of this statement? Your no less than a gift or no less than a bitch. There! 
Pain, we all go through it. Life gives it to us. Nobody ever asks for it. We either become weak or we become stronger. We either curse the happenings , blame the time or we learn our lessons and learn LIFE. 
I am going on yapping out here, letting out all the gyaan I have in this ‘overthinking’ brain of mind. Just one question, How do you keep your perspective positive when you are in deep shit? When all you think of, is, Why is this happening to me? It’s hard when you have convinced yourself that your on the right track and then life, keeps creating situations reminding you that boy,you aren’t on the right one. Ouch. Hurts you, Doesn’t it? How do you keep a positive attitude then? How do you keep your calm when you have worked so hard to be the person you are today after all that shit,only to realize that you were being fooled. ”Quit fooling around.” I wanted to say. I couldn’t , for I had gone way too far! 
But definitely the perspective is going to change. 
How I wish I never cared. How I wish, I could learn to not give a fuck! How I wish… 

Posted in Life as i see it

The Emotional Trap


“It’s called moving on.” She said.
“It’s called giving up.” He replied.
Ouch!
Can one statement made by someone, really leave that much of an impact? Can one conversation with someone leave a person so baffled? Well, looks like it can. And what’s worse to arise? That one sleepless night, where in there is a constant argument between your heart and mind, taking you nowhere, leaving you even more upset. Don’t you just hate that?
Mind: “Seriously woman, get a life and move on. It’s high time.”
Heart: “One more try wouldn’t hurt a lot.”
Mind: “Bitch please. Haven’t you been hurt enough?”
Heart: “So? Giving up is not a good option.”
Mind: “Holding on doesn’t sound that good either.”
Heart: “I am not so weak, that I chose to give up.”
Mind: “Nor are you strong enough to fight it anymore.”

# Mind fights
# Mind fights

SO TRUE! Giving up on something/someone isn’t as easy as it sounds, especially if that had got a lot to do with what you are today.It takes time, a hell lot of time, even more of courage and tons and tons of will power to let go off something you once lived for.It will not stop haunting you for a long, a very long time or it may even take forever. Though nothing will ever heal the wound it caused today, you will be a stronger person tomorrow.
She thought a lot. A hundred questions wandered her mind. It was never so difficult for her to find answers unless it came to this topic.Why?
#Heart fights
#Heart fights

SO TRUE! What’s the point of giving up on something you will never be able to forget? You would not have held on to it for so long if it wasn’t worth it. You live for it. You still care. You can’t let go off it. You never will. Sometimes something is so close to your heart that the more you try to get rid of it the more you will come across it. There has to be reason behind it right? Don’t lose hope. Keep trying. For if it wasn’t that important it wouldn’t take you this long to think of giving up.
She thought a lot. A lot of flashbacks flashed her mind, the good ones, and the bad ones. Tears rolled down her eyes. “Was it really worth it?” She asked herself.

#True story
#True story

There she goes again. The agony, the stress, the memories, the anxiety, the fear crept around her that day. Excuse the Exaggerations. Now what is this supposed to mean?
“The other person doesn’t care.” Is that a good enough reason for you to stop caring? HELL NO!!
“The other person doesn’t give a fuck about you.” Good. HELL YEAH, It just made your job easier.
No seriously. All this was just making it worse for her. Don’t give up. Get a life and move on. Keep holding on. You’re wasting your time. It gets annoying after a point.
“Everything happens for a reason. Wait for the moment, time will heal it all. Give the time, some time.”
“Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is that you’re freaking stupid and made a bad decision.”
Aren’t these two statements paradoxical?

What did she get at the end of it? Even more confusion?Another sleepless night? To go with the flow was the only option she felt was appropriate. Do your good, know where to draw the line. An Emotional trap she fell into…
“The problem with you is, you think a lot.” He said.

Posted in Life as i see it

“Drink, Chat and be Merry” Courtesy: Cafe Coffee Day


Feeling low? Feeling cranky? Want to isolate yourself from all the drama around you? You know what best to do. A cup of coffee with anyone, a walk along the beach with someone or you & your thoughts with no one. At least this is what works out for me. Most of us have those regular ‘bad days ‘where in we are in a weird mood for no particular reason as such. It just happens. Many a times these ‘bad days’ knock the doors of our life way too often leaving less chances for the good days to stroll in. The option of opening the door is in our hands.
The times I’ve wasted saying “It can’t get any worse” have just changed to, “It can definitely get better.”
For a lot of you guys out there, grabbing a glass of beer would any day be a better option over sipping a cup of coffee. It’s your look out, do anything that makes you feel good about yourself. Divert your mind from those ‘not so important thoughts.’ “Grass is always greener on the other side.” So look at the other side of it.
Make time for yourself, do things you love doing, prioritize your tasks right, be happy and make others happier. It will boost your confidence the best. Every event that occurs signifies something or the other, leaves you thinking or makes you want to stop thinking. Every minute you frown you lose 60 seconds of a chance to wear a smile. Trust me; you do not want to end up cribbing over what you have done a few days later. A positive attitude is all it takes, of course with a pinch of patience. Nobody but you will know what it feels like to actually undergo something you feel.
For now, focus on your goals, march towards your dreams, get hold of the good things in life, believe in yourself a little more and just give the time, some time. Time will heal it all. Drink, Chat and be Merry
😀